This blog doesn’t receive [m]any visitors. for the few that do come, I’m not entirely sure that they actually read the blog post or if their visit is glancing and then moving on. If I needed any further confirmation of lack, this blog received it’s first comment the other day, which reads:
You is not going to feel any craving for years and will also be in a position to avoid
anyy extra calories. By exercising your muscle mass you’ll dramatically enhance your metabolism that could burn that fat right off.
Also, there is certainly more to fat reduction than onlyy diet and
Following this insight into my caloric choices was a link. This comment was made on the post Skeptical of Narratives. Thanks, Kristan, for these brave words.
In other news, odedi’s Wine Reviews liked my post Drunk Mother. I have to resist the desire to leave a snotty comment on their blog. It’s entirely possible that the blog’s administrator shares with me a broken heart over a parent that does not control their drinking and the understanding that they themselves have seriously abused alcohol. But then maybe they should get out of the wine review business.
I heard an interview with Dave Chapell’s former partner where he mentions Chapell getting out the business because that not being able to control how you are received. You can only put the work out there, and accept the pricks that just can’t, not in hundred million years, understand.
I’m beat. M’s continued crankiness and my lack of sleep, has got me to the end of myself. I stare blankly at work that needs to gets to done–I can’t think through what needs to happen. Getting behind on work has successfully led me to slow my writing. Somewhere in the slowing and tiredness, the hopelessness has returned. I need to find some way to name this, to push it outside myself. This, too, is part of the mental training. Not just to keep getting back to the work, but removing the ache in not mattering. The fear that the words will never get past this screen and into someone else’s mind.