But that’s not only the reason it was a good weekend; that was just the icing on the cake, the feeling that maybe the world isn’t upside down after all. I saw it’s been 6 months since the election; which to my mind means M was just 3 months when I woke up and thought I woken in the wrong world.
but this weekend was the first in a while that felt truly relaxing. it’s embarrassing of course to complain: we’re employed, which we weren’t always, and not only employed but doing ok. We’ve actually made purchases other than food and diapers, which, for my husband and I, means we are actually doing ok financially. And our kids are healthy. For all the sleep we didn’t get last night, and haven’t been getting for some time, our kids, impossibly young at 9 months (M) and 3.5 years (N) are not sick. I had wanted to have them closer together, but this weekend, I thought, no, three years is the perfect distance between children. Because nine months is a lovely, social, happy age: he has movement and choice, but does not yet know that his will can be exerted just be screaming. At 3.5 years old, the my older son does not turn every task into a battle of life and will, does not need to throw himself against us for no reason. He listens, mostly complies, is fun to be with, and much less exhausting than the long trek from 18 months to 3 years. It’s true I should, and would, could I do it again, handle everything differently.